In Sickness and in Health

A few weeks ago I was sick. The kind of sick that makes you lose five pounds in three days. The kind of sick that makes you feel like you're going to die. Luckily, it only felt like that, and I've recovered since then.

Because I'm sure everyone wants to know the turn of events...

     Wednesday night - I began taking prescribed antibiotics.

     Thursday - I fasted to have routine blood work done and felt weird and "off" the rest of the day.

     Friday -  I woke up at 3AM and vomited every 15 minutes for about six hours.

     Friday night - I had to pee so Dackota came to the side of the bed to help me up. I sat up and the next thing I knew I was laying down on the bed with no memory of the moment beforehand. It was like I was waking up from a deep sleep, to Dackota saying, "That was scary, babe." He told me later he had to catch me in his arms and I seized while I laid there. I now know what fainting feels like and yes, it is scary.

     Saturday - Began taking my antibiotics again

     Sunday - Still nauseous, living off pedia-lyte and applesauce

     Monday - Through research mom and I figured out I had a very negative reaction to the antibiotics. Flu-like symptoms continued on far too long, and ones included in the long list of side effects for the antibiotic were: anxiety, chills, confusion, depression, feeling weak, nervousness, numbness and tingling, ringing in the ears, etc. In talking with various people I learned that bad reactions to antibiotics are pretty common. Something to be aware of!
     Tuesday - Still very weak, but able to eat some cream of wheat. Progress!
     Wednesday - Finally was able to do a half day at work!

Thankfully, Dackota stayed home from work that Friday to take care of me. My only goal for the next few days was to stay hydrated. Amazing how your goals in life can be simplified so quickly.

At one point during the week I woke up in the middle of the night feeling so dehydrated and anxious. I woke up Dackota and told him, "I think I need to go to the hospital." He asked why and I said, "I'm so dehydrated." He told me, "They're just going to give you fluids." I told him I was in panic mode and he asked if I needed an anxiety pill (I had already taken one). He told me, "It's okay," and rolled over and went to sleep. Don't worry, we're laughing about it now.

There is always some good to be discovered, even in the worst of circumstances. Friday morning after throwing up multiple times I called out to Dackota. He came to the bathroom to be with me and held my hair back when I threw up (less romantic than it sounds, but still sweet). I said to him I wished there was a bed in the bathroom so he brought me a blanket and a pillow. There was a moment when both our heads were on the pillow, opposite each other, that was so comforting to me. Even though I was totally miserable I had him with me and he was willing to risk getting sick to be near me and comfort me.

I believe our bodies - and sometimes minds - get sick to give us perspective. There's nothing like speeding up the gratitude process than realizing all the things we take for granted each day. The important thing is coming out of hard times a better person.

This quote has really helped me in my lowest moments:

When you're sick you realize all the things you take for granted on a daily basis:

• Modern medicine
• Walking around for more than a few seconds at a time, exercise
• Nature, being outside
• Taking care of others instead of being the one taken care of
• Going to church
• Work! And the ability to actually go to work.

Since being sick I'm even more grateful for:

• The people who love me and take care of me
• The ability to get up and out of the house in the morning, even when I think I don't like to do it
• My job and the flexibility it provides, an understanding boss and helpful assistant
• Music - many moments the only thing that would comfort me was my "Relaxation" station on Pandora. I'm usually the one to play the piano for people, but this time I needed it for myself.
• Jesus Christ - I had a lot of time to ponder, and my testimony has been strengthened. I know that Christ suffered and died for us - not just for our sins but for our sorrows, heartaches, and pains. I know that He was with me. He knew exactly what I was feeling, understood my frustrations, and comforted me through it all.

Lessons to take away:

• Patience. We're so quick to pull out our smart phones or electronics when we're waiting - in line at the grocery store, at the doctor office, etc. There is beauty in simplicity, in sitting still and letting our minds work naturally, instead of always focusing on something to keep from being "bored." A few days ago I took Facebook off my phone and I've been surprised how many moments I normally would open it up - instead I try to stay in "stillness" and not be so focused on what's going on in the social media world.
• Learn to appreciate the mundane. With the right perspective sometimes "OK" days can be great days.
• We can't get through life without each other.
• There is always something to be grateful for.
• Heavenly Father allows us to experience hard times so that we can be more humble and more grateful. It's the refinery process to shape us into the best version of ourselves.

Overall...

Just, don't forget to appreciate the collateral beauty. And also go watch the movie Collateral Beauty. It's inspiring and my new favorite.