I'm Not Who I Used To Be

I used to be near-sighted. Then I had lasik eye surgery. Now I need glasses.

I used to not know what vertigo felt like. Now I have chronic dizziness issues and know what different types of dizziness feel like.

There is a point to my story.

There have been a lot of days lately that I don't feel well. There are so many words I've been meaning to write but due to a new kind of dizziness my eyes and head just haven't been able to handle much.

I honestly lost count of how many medical appointments I had this last month. Though I've never felt so completely frustrated, I've tried to keep hope and a perspective that things could be so much worse.

Turns out even a slight imbalance in one's vision can cause a whole lot of problems. The short version is I really, really hope these glasses do the trick. This is the hope I've been holding on to for weeks.

I'm one of the lucky ones. Did you know there are thousands (!) of people suffering with dizziness issues? Diseases, disorders, unknown causes... People who can't work, who can't drive, who can't get around or do hardly ANYTHING. Thanks to my sister's suggestion, I am part of an online support group and these folks have taught me many valuable lessons. One such lesson is below.

The good news is I am able to take full advantage of the good days and precious moments when they come. I am still working, breathing, and counting my blessings! I've learned to lean in to my joys a little deeper, and a little longer. I've learned that hope is very powerful and necessary to keep going, to keep learning, to keep fighting.

I couldn't do it alone. It's all about love. True love is sacrifice and selflessness. Dackota has asked me more than usual, "How can I help you," and I am so grateful for it. Caring for each other is how we get through the crap.

One of my support group members shared her experience with dizziness and said something so powerful to me, I'm not who I used to be so I work on who I am.

I think of this every day now. It was like a light bulb went on in my heart, a flicker of courage. I do believe that comparison is the thief of joy. But I never made the connection that comparing my current situation(s) to my past situation(s) can cause pain. Stop. Stop comparing! We cannot compare what things used to be like to what they are now or we will suffer. Plain as that.

Words to live by...

I'm not who I used to be... So I work on who I am.