It's been over a year since I've been having visual vertigo problems. I don't have all the answers yet, but I'm happy to report that I have experienced extreme relief since the beginning of my visual vertigo journey.
I have had the really bad vertigo episodes in the past - the ones where you feel like you're dying but then things settle after a few days and you can go back to feeling like a functioning human again (BPPV). But in June/July of 2018 I began experiencing headaches and dizziness that would get increasingly worse at night. I realized later on that part of my symptoms was pressure in the eyes. I attribute solving that mystery to some extensive google research. I NEVER would have guessed otherwise my problem could be with my eyes, since having lasik eye surgery a few years prior. (Side note: If you're ever considering lasik, please please do your research to learn about all the positive negative side effects.)
I wrote my last post when I got glasses, hoping they would fix the problem. I went from feeling miserable with dizziness, headaches, and nausea to feeling "normal" again after just one day of wearing my glasses. It felt like a miracle.
For my friends who are fascinated by medical mysteries like I am... Basically, around July 2018 my vision changed so quickly and significantly from 20/20 that the symptoms were also significant. It was bad enough I wasn't sure how I would keep my job because driving made everything so much worse (50 minute commute). Turns out driving is a very visually demanding task. Getting glasses to correct my eyesight fixed the problem almost 100%. I can't tell you how wonderful those next few months were, not taking for granted feeling good enough to work.
Then, almost exactly 4 months later, I began feeling the symptoms again. My eye doctor evaluated me again and sure enough - my vision had changed. New glasses! Again.
Since then my vision has been changing pretty consistently every 4 months. So I go to the eye doctor every 4-5 months for a new prescription. There's about a 3 day adjustment period between prescriptions and then I'm good to go for a while.
One thing that bothers me most is we don't know why, all of a sudden, I have visual vertigo problems. Was it caused by lasik? Or is it a result of being predisposed to dizziness issues in general? I may never know the cause or the official name of what I have (I've coined the phrase visual vertigo myself as far as I know), but I do get to lead a pretty normal life. Sure, I have to go to the eye doctor a lot, and pay a lot of money for glasses three times a year, but things could always be worse.
Little Mermaid at Tuacahn outdoor theater in St. George
There have been many blessings to all of this. Isn't it strange how sometimes the difficult times allow us to see more clearly the good? Still, that can take time.
One of the biggest blessing to me is being able to share my story, however weird and mysterious it may feel at times. I can't speak for all those living with a chronic condition, however severe, but I can say for me, the times when I feel most fulfilled is when my journey allows me to connect with others. The most frustrating thing at times is not having people know what it feels like to have this problem. So when people take the time to listen at how crazy it all is, and how it really truly sucks some days, that's what matters. Sharing and listening with true care and concern... that's all it takes to connect to each other.
Just today I talked with a classmate who has a condition that causes vertigo episodes for her, but a whole lot of other problems as well. Specifically, she has been in chronic pain her whole life. We were rushed in sharing with each other our experiences with dizziness, but I already feel like we're friends.
We don't all have the same struggles, but we all have struggles. And how much better is it to be there for each other than to feel hopeless all on our own?
"Sorrow prepares you for joy. It violently sweeps everything out of your house, so that new joy can find space to enter. It shakes the yellow leaves from the bough of your heart, so that fresh, green leaves can grow in their place. It pulls up the rotten roots, so that new roots hidden beneath have room to grow. Whatever sorrow shakes from your heart, far better things will take their place."
- Rumi
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