This last week I had to deal with a difficult situation with
a client. All morning I dreaded going over to her house to “smooth things
over.” I worked myself up into high anxiety. When I got there, though, she was
so happy to see me and greeted me warmly. Not what I was expecting. As we sat
down to talk I realized I was stuck in the middle of a good cop/bad cop
circumstance (luckily I was the good cop). It still wasn’t easy to reinforce
important information with her but you know what? I did it! I lived!
I got back into the car afterwards and as I drove back to
work it took me a few minutes to determine what it was I was feeling: Empowerment. Something I was
dreading for hours actually left me feeling motivated.
I had all these things floating in my mind I had been putting off that I felt I
could truly handle and get done in that moment.
Lessons I re-learned:
- Most of the time we anticipate situations to be much worse than they really are.
- Doing hard things can be empowering!
- We are stronger than we think we are.
I'm still learning about myself and the way my body responds to the world around me and situations I find myself in. Some days are better than others. Lately I've really been aware of my anxiety and the impact it has on me.
Anxiety rewires your brain so that you imagine the worst
case scenario to every negative situation and then ruminate over it, therefore making it even more
difficult to pull yourself out of the negative feelings. When I'm feeling good I recognize the wonderful blessing my anxiety gives me to empathize with others and be more kind. When I'm feeling crappy, it's hard to see anything good in it. It's important to have a list of things that help us when we're feeling down.
Here are some things that help me when I'm feeling anxious/overwhelmed:
- Writing down my thoughts and feelings
- Accompanied with gratitude journaling when ready
- Talking to someone who understands, who I trust (for me, my husband or mom)
- Physical touch
- My parents and husband know well I love to snuggle! For my husband and I, we are more able to open up and connect when we are touching.
- Sleep/taking a nap (My mom helped me learn early on that everything is worse when I'm tired.)
- Crying - sometimes it's best to just let it out
- Medication (This one is a personal decision for everyone.)
- Reading Scriptures
- Exercise
- Distraction
Though I'm most definitely not one of those people who think you can just flip a switch and choose to be happy, I do believe it's less exhausting to be happy. I got a trinket from a friend's bridal shower recently that had this quote (with arrows!) on it that felt really meaningful to me:
The Power of Positive Thinking
Our brains seem to be wired to focus on the negative. It’s not necessarily a “bad” thing. We notice the things that are “off” around us and try to fix/improve them to make situations better. However, always focusing on the negative can be very detrimental and discouraging. I don’t believe thinking positively is a cure-all, but I do believe it helps. This is where gratitude journaling can help - thoughts and ideas stick better
when we write them down.
I see a family practice doctor, who happens to have the same
religious beliefs I do. He told me once, "I like to think that one day Heavenly
Father will say to me, Nate, you did pretty good for someone with a serotonin
imbalance.” God knows you. He knows the internal struggles you face.
"With the gift of the Atonement of Jesus Christ and the strength of heaven to help us, we can improve, and the great thing about the gospel is we get credit for trying, even if we don’t always succeed. – (Tomorrow the World Will Do Wonders among You)
Faith. Positive thinking. Helpful lists to help you in time of need... Focus on your strengths, not the
world weighing you down. Give yourself credit for making it this far. If you have to, start again tomorrow. I know it's all easier said then done which is why we need to help each other and love each other. Yes, life is tough, but so are you.
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