Just in case you missed my first post, here's the link:
What is a highly sensitive person (HSP)?
A highly sensitive person is one who experiences
hypersensitivity to external stimuli, greater depth of cognitive processing,
and high emotional reactivity. (Thanks, Google!)
The Huffington Post wrote a fantastic article titled 16 Habits of Highly Sensitive People.
I’ll share with you the ones that apply to me, but the link is below if you’d
like to read the whole thing (which I recommend!).
- They feel more deeply.
o
It’s a sixth
sense.
o
This can be a blessing. I am able to love and
receive love very deeply. But with that comes vulnerability and I can be hurt
more deeply. It’s a blessing and a curse.
- They’re more emotionally reactive.
o
In good and bad ways! HSPs feel the same
emotions as everyone else, just more intensely, at least in my personal
experience.
- They prefer to exercise solo.
o
Gyms are not my thing, never have been my thing
and never will be. Unless it’s a yoga gym where the lights are dim and nobody
is watching me. But even then…
- It takes longer for them to make decisions.
o
I’m very hard on myself as well as a
perfectionist so decision-making (when it’s the decisions that REALLY matter)
is a big deal.
- They are more upset if they make a “bad” or “wrong” decision
o
Emotions are amplified, emotional reactivity is
higher
- They’re extremely detail-oriented.
o
I try to find a balance between being
detail-oriented and just following through with my OCD (obsessive compulsive
disorder) tendencies.
§
The one time you try NOT to be overbearing and
OCD though, will be the one time you should have been.
·
Example: I recently planned an appreciation
dinner for all the volunteers I work with. I spent hours making sure we had
enough food and the right kind of food, spoke with two different managers on
four different days, and confirmed twice two days before. The day of the dinner
I had a feeling maybe I should call the restaurant to confirm. I argued with myself
saying, “Staci. You just spoke with them two days ago. You don’t need to call
and be overbearing.” Well. They didn’t show up and re-scheduled it for a week
later without informing me until I called 15 minutes before the food was
supposed to arrive. I was livid. Moral of the story… Sometimes perfectionism
and OCD tendencies make things happen!
- Not all highly sensitive people are introverts.
o
I’m slightly more extroverted than introverted.
- They can be more prone to anxiety or depression.
o
Sometimes it’s hard to tell whether I’m
experiencing anxiety or sensitivity or both!
- “That annoying sound is probably significantly more annoying to an HSP.”
o
In the last year, especially, I’ve noticed how
different sounds affect me so quickly. I’m very jumpy at even the slightest
sounds. My husband helps me to have fun with it and laughs with me and loves me
for how “fun” I am, which is much better than feeling negative emotions toward
this part of high sensitivity.
- Violent movies are the worst.
o
If I watch violent or scary shows I have to take
it in small doses. My mood is easily affected by content of entertainment.
- They cry more easily.
o
Tears leak out of my eyes quite often. Something
I’m working on is an acceptance of self and acknowledging that it’s okay to
cry. My husband takes good care of me when I cry. He holds me, tells me it’s
okay to cry, and, “I still love you.” I used to think that not being perfect
all the time and crying a lot was a sign of weakness. So when I wasn’t perfect
or I cried, I assumed the man I loved wouldn’t want me anymore. I am happy I
was wrong.
o
They have above-average manners.
§
We are a breed who is “self-aware.” When you
know yourself well and are aware of your needs you also become more aware of
those around you. For example, we notice easily the ones at the social gathering
not having a good time or feeling uncomfortable. There’s that sixth sense
again!
- The effects of criticism are especially amplified in highly sensitive people.
o
We’re already so aware of our flaws that when
others point them out it can be very upsetting.
o
Growing up my parents rarely punished me because
I was hard enough on myself. With that I have a very obedient heart so I
couldn’t stand to feel like I disappointed anyone, especially my parents.
§
Once I was bouncing a ball down the long stairs
in our house. My mom was sitting in a recliner at the bottom. She told me to
stop, but like that moment in any kid’s life I had to do it “one more time.”
The ball bounced down and then up into the light fixture, which shattered into
pieces. My jaw dropped, I gasped, and locked eyes with my mom who had that “I
told you so look” in her eyes. I ran to my bedroom, locked the door, gathered
up all the money I could find, and wrote a note that said, “I’m so so so sorry.
I hope this is enough money to buy another light bulb.” Then I hid in a bookshelf
with a giant pillow blocking my body. They found me. Instead of yelling, my mom
was very calm and instead had a discussion with me on listening.
- Cubicles = good. Open-office plans = bad.
o
“Many HSPs enjoy working from home or being
self-employed because they can control the stimuli in their work environments.”
o
For me, this ties in with social anxiety. I put
social pressure on myself at work to maintain positive relationships. Sometimes
it’s just relieving and comforting to sit in my cubicle.
The way people view sensitivity is influenced by cultural
views. One culture might say sensitive people are weak, where other cultures
look at it as a quality of strength and leadership. I believe HSPs are strong
people not despite their unique qualities, but because of them.
16 Habits of Highly Sensitive People
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