Collateral Beauty: When it Feels Like the End

This weekend our friends got married! We felt so blessed to be part of such a special day. Our Bishop married them and gave some great advice of which I took out of it, "The most important thing in a marriage is kindness." And later, "Make time to laugh together."

I was all sorts of emotional because that's what love does to me (and pretty much everything else!). I've been pondering a lot on that advice and I think it really applies to every relationship. We could say, The most important thing in any relationship is kindness.

This morning I was driving to work when the truck + trailer just ahead and left of me had a tire rip off and land right in the middle of my lane. There was no time to change lanes, swerve around it, or even slow down so I ran right over it. I had to hold tight to my steering wheel, as my car started to jostle, being that the tire was stuck underneath my car, scraping along. I did my best to get over to the shoulder of the freeway.

As I made it to the shoulder the tire finally popped out from under my car. Ahead of me I could see steam or smoke coming from my hood. Once I parked the car I got out of it because, you know, is my engine going to blow up?!

Once the guy driving the truck realized what happened with his tire he made it over to the shoulder, too. I've always wondered how I would handle a car accident, how I would treat the other driver. Turns out I was just really mad (but still nice). Not because it happened but because the guy driving the truck was not helpful. He told me, "The smoke is probably from the rubber burning up underneath your vehicle. But there's no damage." Um, excuse me?? I told him I wanted to report it to my insurance and asked him if he had his insurance card with him. He returned with his business card. I snapped a photo of the license plate just in case. Then he left because he "had an appointment."

The point of this is not to rant about how that guy should have handled things better (even though he should have). The point of this is to share what went through my mind for the quick moment before I ran over the tire.

Now, I suffered no injury and it could have been a millions times worse (and I clearly did NOT die). I sympathize greatly for others and wonder how they go through worse situations. But in my scary moment I was thinking, This is it, I might crash and die.

My mind flashed to the last text I sent. And then quickly went to the last conversation I had with my husband (other than a goodbye this morning).

Dackota: I love you. You are so sweet and thoughtful... I love you... You take good care of me. You always cook good food and make sure we have food to eat. You do our laundry a lot. You do the dishes a lot. You care... I love you.

Me: I love you. Thank you for being a wonderful husband.

Dackota: Thank you for being a wonderful wife.

Being with him I felt such peace, contentment, and calm. I felt like everything was all right in the world because our love is kind.

In that "I think I'm going to die" moment I realize my mind was reflecting on the last decisions I made. For me, I remembered that moment, that feeling with my husband. I knew that if I did die Dackota would know that I loved him and did everything I could to take care of him and make him feel loved.

Love is a choice. One in which I hope we will always do our very best to choose kindness. Through kind and gentle care for one another I believe we will find the greatest love of all. Be kind and find laughter with those you love. Don't fret on the little things that don't matter in the end. Live in a way that if your last moment came you wouldn't feel regret, but instead feel confidence that the people you leave behind know with all clarity that you love and appreciate them.